grip on time

there are feelings i feel no matter the position the sun is in the sky
feelings that tell me i am certainly my own being but a slave to this world
as i watch the time go by each day i come to more and more of a realization that i am here to change time
encapsulated in it i feel a need to escape from the sixty seconds that each minute provides, expanding them in some odd manner i always manage to squeeze more into each one as they pass
squeezing becomes harder as the time passes, like a heavy weight it is hard to restrain from letting go of the goals that i see are so close

why do i long to control time like i do, to feel like i am in control, is it a gift to be in control or a fault of man to feel like i do...
god will surly continue to lead my footsteps into the time that he wishes to create, i only with i wasnt one step behind

as my soul listens my heart and mind play catch up they are to busy in the times to slow down and listen to the truth that is inside

for these reasons i want to escape your world, come back to it one day to help it none the less, but get away to better manage my time, my youth, my supposed stronger body

there are many more people that want to help others out there and im finally finding some of there faces, and sure enough like finding a bread on the brink of extension there is a great joy and overwhelming comfort in knowing i am not alone... still though none the less time presses on

hello life

I am in a constant struggle with the assumption that feel like i am extraordinary
maybe because i so badly desire to serve the ordinary, not to be separated, but able to mingle.
I feel entrapped in your digital and concrete world, and I am afraid i'm not quite sure how to leave it behind. I know the skills i have could help afar. When will i see that, when will i know, that i am meant to do so much more.
Oh the struggles to understand ones self, why are they so hard? im sure it has something to do with patience, something that i am finally getting a grasp on, i know this cause i don't feel to needy.
The questions tend to puzzle me like an ever changing maze, so much to think of, the streets have many ways, so many are ever changing i will stay afloat letting the waves of gods love guide me to the better days...


"blind melon- no rain"
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin' the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view
But it's not sane, It's not sane
I just want some one to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake

dear verizon

am i your untapped resource...
am i to be walked upon,
am i to continue to hold your strength,


i am the brick and mortar, your support beam
i am the word that comes from your mouth
i hold the secrets to mend the business

yet

again i am treated as a can of food,
not to be recycled, or cleaned
just used and thrown into a pile with other dirty cans

Did you read the label and not like the taste of the contents?
have you not informed me about your tendencies to purge your food

i hope that this nasty taste will leave my mouth soon or i may have to leave

a rare feeling

today i feel so negative,
i am surrounded by negativity,
this place, the people, the phone calls,
the people like a whip they scratch at the surface,
tear at my heart, and separate me from my soul.

I feel helpless and stuck,
motivated with goals but unable to move,
lost but not alone, unable to excel past the crowd.

The out bursts of anger make me feel like i am of this world,
but i am quickly grounded when i remember,
i live to be in the world but not a product of it.

these feelings are rare, because most of you know i'm a highly positive person
i just cant escape the reality that i don't belong serving these people, i don't belong working for this man. I can usually find comfort in knowing that it is temporary, and i must continue to work on my least known trait... patience.

negitivity and bitterness

are two things that need to be extracted like a poison from the earths crust
i dont get it
i dont get how i think so much differently, how i strive to rid myself of all negitive energy
and others prefer to just let it seep in and run there lives

ive got a few negative friends VERY few and when they get all negative i start to drown them out, while still paying enough attention to give good advice

all im saying is that the world has to many bitter people that bitterness and negativity DOES radiate and affect the ones around you, please work on being nicer to those around you

assume less
learn to love yourself
think with a positive attitude
and converse in deep conversation with good friends
open up to more people and be surprised at all the good that really is in the world
and i promiss you will see a brighter happier future in you life