secrets...
Every sunday i read the secrets on post secret, the reasons are many. But at the end of the day i smile, reflect, know i am not alone, and thank god that people have compassion, to live, to grow, and to reflect on their lives.
music...
A great mirror, the reflection of a soul, a relationship, an emotional roller coaster the reminds you of the greatest times, the gutter you once woke up in and presents a promise for a beautiful, peaceful future. when you can hear someones soul in a piece and when it speaks to yours, its like holding hands with a loved one, its just that amazing.
good deads...
SERIOUSLY im at work, on a call, i caught a full 10 seconds plus the last 3 seconds of this clip and i felt the tears coming on, this is the most beautiful part of the human society, acting as a society, making an effort to help one another.
When these things "reach out" and "touch you" that "clammy feeling" (whether its reminding you of good times or bad) always makes the "pipes" behind these eyes open up, but for some reason, for some TERRIBLE reason they are dry, no tears come forth and i am once again searching to relate to the human race. (it is my hope that others have had the same struggle, and that in that way we do relate)
haha i promised this one was going to be positive and it is because i think we all leave feeling that way about some part of our lives. We search to relate to each other and as well succeed at this we are comforted. It is only when we fail to relate we feel secluded and different, i never said different is a bad thing ;)
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
craving change
(click start on the music below to enjoy sound track :)
I am in an awe of the itching at my bones at the moment.
is this all caused by the media cramming this damn word "change" down our throats? i doubt it i rarely listen to their shit. But none the less my bones feel compressed in this word change. My life feels stalled and dried up. i am past the point of being spread to thin. This wafer is about to crumble and cook under the power of distress.
ive been listening to alot of "folkish hippy music" and i feel trapped inside my own body, maybe this is where my recent crave for experience has been derived from.
Im debating moving, to where idk ive applied for jobs in Ohio, other parts of WA and soon to be applying for positions in CO. i need a drastic change for alot of reasons i will try to list a few and be as honest as i can these are my thoughts, my feelings, the reasons for the aching in my soul
1. I feel unusually far from my god, that is the first thought at least, maybe this is how i am interpreting my need for a move, as if he is calling me out of my current situation to explore a world without my current comforts.
2. craving simplicity , my theme for 2008, since the new year i have wanted to simplify my life, use less, waste less become more reliant on the basics
3. desiring experiences that have been pushed off, or neglected before. i cant really explain this one, mind expansion maybe, trying to TRULY separate heart mind and soul. the feeling that ive grown up to fast, taken on to much responsibility?
4. a new found depressed state of mind for the sad shit that is going on in this nation at the moment, war, health care, the "order" of importance of our current administration and those to come seems completely un humanitarian and it bugs the shit out of me
thanks for reading, maybe soon i will escape this funk, maybe by looking inward more i will figure out more of who i am, wait i know i will, im just uncertain of how to interpret it or accommodate the change that needs to take place in order for me to feel like the me on the inside, anyone have ideas?
I am in an awe of the itching at my bones at the moment.
is this all caused by the media cramming this damn word "change" down our throats? i doubt it i rarely listen to their shit. But none the less my bones feel compressed in this word change. My life feels stalled and dried up. i am past the point of being spread to thin. This wafer is about to crumble and cook under the power of distress.
ive been listening to alot of "folkish hippy music" and i feel trapped inside my own body, maybe this is where my recent crave for experience has been derived from.
Im debating moving, to where idk ive applied for jobs in Ohio, other parts of WA and soon to be applying for positions in CO. i need a drastic change for alot of reasons i will try to list a few and be as honest as i can these are my thoughts, my feelings, the reasons for the aching in my soul
1. I feel unusually far from my god, that is the first thought at least, maybe this is how i am interpreting my need for a move, as if he is calling me out of my current situation to explore a world without my current comforts.
2. craving simplicity , my theme for 2008, since the new year i have wanted to simplify my life, use less, waste less become more reliant on the basics
3. desiring experiences that have been pushed off, or neglected before. i cant really explain this one, mind expansion maybe, trying to TRULY separate heart mind and soul. the feeling that ive grown up to fast, taken on to much responsibility?
4. a new found depressed state of mind for the sad shit that is going on in this nation at the moment, war, health care, the "order" of importance of our current administration and those to come seems completely un humanitarian and it bugs the shit out of me
thanks for reading, maybe soon i will escape this funk, maybe by looking inward more i will figure out more of who i am, wait i know i will, im just uncertain of how to interpret it or accommodate the change that needs to take place in order for me to feel like the me on the inside, anyone have ideas?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
