this last few weeks...

ive been piss drunk in emotion, from getting to meet one of my dearest friends in phoenix, all the fun that could ever be experienced there with her and my other new firends i made on that trip.

The deep conversations ive had with many of my newer male firends, is something ill be forever thankful for.

And ive started to read, which sounds funny, and it is, cause ive never "enjoyed" reading at least ive always had to have a purose to read, ive never done it for enjoyment, or in self seeking enlightenment, reasons being that most things that have been writin are about things that HAVE happened, as i write now i am writing about what has happend, reflecting on the past. But ive found a new respect for learning from that shared history, and for that i am ever thankful.

A crush of mine got me readding too, soo off course thats lame haha cause now i have an asosiation with a crush and a new found joy, its like sharing good bands with a girlfriend, youll always be sharing them, even after the band puts out the new cd youll still think of her.

this encounter with books is helping me with some sin ive had in my life for a very long time thou, and for that i am forever thankful. its a long battle, that i am currently slipping towards but must turn to god for salvation from.

moving, was hectic, my little brother bitched out on the cleaning and let my father do his talking for him, thanks dad, thanks for speaking for the "boy" i hope someday he will man up and talk for himself if hes got a date he wants to go to instead of stay home and clean he can TALK to me about it with control using his own words. Hes always hated people steepping in and talking for him so he gets pissed off to express himself and hes never gunna be able to TALK to anyone about shit if we keep being his voice

moving also sucked cause this was the year that ash and i were suposed to move back intogether and i saw a pic of us, the cutest one we have, where we are overlooking the colombia river out by the gorge, the picture was taken right after a little "argument" but we both look really happy in it, and it hit me pretty hard. Many people dont understand how i will always love rebecca and ash. i will always be here for them always its jsut how i am and it sucks that ash cant jsut be ash around me anymore...

Friends are getting engaded EVERYWHERE some of my best guy friends are getting engaged which is super exciting the woman that they have chosen to spend the rest of their lives with are amazing and care about them more than anything else.

Chelsea and brads wedding was beautiful, the date was amazing, the emotion that flowded from that event made me grab my balls to make sure i stil had them haha i always feel like a love sick girl when it comes to weddings, they are beautiful and show hope for promises that we never intend to break. Despite the ugly fail rate of marriages in our age every wedding i see, i see passion, devotion, love, everything in its right place (change radio head song)


ohh what am i leaving out....

living on my own, knowing that i can afford this shit is nice, but i miss the boys, cant wait till they move in, i finally got that red couch ive dreamed of, slowly but surely these peices will fit in a romantic harmony that is kicking my ass as i write this, forever romance will be my vice...