the past is a grotesque animal

ive wrote about this before but right now my head is spinning and it all follows suit with my previous "thoughts" that today (or as i had seen it) 2 days before nasondra is supposed to get here... would be the tuffest day so far

i dont even know what to say without assuming
if you know my youtube channel (youtube.com/noassumptions) and if you have read my other blog at understandingbarcus.blogspot.com you will know how dangerous i think assumptions are so i will make none rather i will blog feelings for record, for therapy, for future reflection...

google the title to this blog and listen to the song by of Montreal, its beautiful, powerful, full of emotion, and i knew at the beginning of this year it would be the theme of this year, i connect with it in so many ways

i guess you can say that everyone looks at there past and that it affects them in some way or another in which ways it affects you i cant say but for me i see it as a reference an Eric Barcus encyclopedia if you will.. in the making

i wrote in my other active blog (link above, another post to come this week sorry for delays) i wrote about how our expectations have to based on a history of truths, i think that is true for almost every situation except for those in which we are new to

so what im trying to say is that i like to use my past to set my expectations for the future in the situations in which i have been in before but if there are any new variables these expectations become altered and the truths of the matter become more cloudy

i wonder what it would look like if i created a blog where i le tmy mind spu for an entire night an hr or more of jsut writting at any one time, i dont think any of you would read it thats alot of reading but id document time and ect ect


ugh head clearing is good, im still in a haze and will be on and off tonight but i like jsut writting xoxo my loves