beautiful colors in the T-shirt of life

"However, the further I travel into my heart's inner workings, the more I find that the unexplored territory is beautiful, it's not flawed like I had once believed. Gaining familiarity with the little bit of myself that I have discovered has opened me up to a whole different thought process." - a woman i will always love


the act of searching for ones self is a beautiful thing, wait its actually usually quite dark and dirty. at least thats what we feel as we are taking that journey at least in the beginning thats how we feel.

its sorta like a tie dye T-shirt, you've got this bunched up white odd shaped "slate" in front of you. you start experiencing life and dipping it in some colors, there are phases of this process that are very bright and that you feel accomplished for. Then as you slow down and start analyzing what you've been doing it all starts to look like a mess because you've just got all these colors everywhere. Blues on top of oranges on top of reds, yellows and greens making a mess of things.

so you stop

you start to wonder how you got to this, wither or not you have taken all the right steps in creating yourself, wither or not your going to like the outcome of the product your trying to sell the world. a rubber band will coem off and you will see a wrinkle or two expand, the innocence of the blank slate shines thru a bit and you remember that once you were nothing but now you are something, what it is you are still not to certain.

you are now on a journey of undoing the rest of these bands that have separated points of definition in your life. with each one the final product begins to be more and more reviled, memories of what brought you to this point seem to unfold with great momentum, and you are completely overwhelmed and astonished at what you have created.

still unsure of your creation sill greatly overwhelmed with emotion you analyze your life, your T-shirt you find happiness and the pursuit of it, you find spots where the colors just didn't fit good together, you see lines that connect the experiences making the process seem somewhat constructed with meaning. Similarities within the ways all the colors connect bring a since of self recognition that at least you have found definition in the way you generally work and you sit in confusion once again as you try to further dilute your mind in thought.


My friends, the ones i love, and the ones i have yet to converse with, i tell you at this moment we are all in unison with each other, we are all on a journey of self exploration and your colors are beautiful, even the dark ones that seep in the cracks.

I love you all and i hope you are enjoying the journey as much as i am no matter how difficult it may seem now :) <3