i didnt even want these fucking rats

I remember thinking that after the breakup, during the move.

I remember being sooo weirded out by the tails thinking you were weird for wanting them, but i loved that weird side of you, a rarely seen thing.

i grew to love them quick i loved my little barb wed take showers and id have her out frequently, thumby was quite difficult in the beginning at times i remember i would taught you about it for some reason

so thumby has been getting sick, she hasnt been moving much, and it looked as if barb was taking care of her most of this time, bathing her, not being as stingy with food, and ALOT of cuddling/nest making

this morning i woke up and its so bad, thumby is rolling around and can barely sit on her back feet, barly lift her head into her food bowl, id "take care of her/put her out" if i thought she was in any real pain, or if it would make it easier for her, but her eyes are stil full of life ya know,

its sooo weird how you can get to know something so well, a dog, cat or even a rat that you can tell its emotions. and i write you about it in a long text and all you can say back is "That is sad. Poor girl. I dont know what i would do" its just very frustrating, specialy with her dying im thinking about you more and all i can think is the same thing "that is sad. poor girl. i dont know what [to] do" ugh ugh ugh